Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
