all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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