we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
