is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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