Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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