Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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