I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
