I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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