yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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