Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
