You work out of a Hotel?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
