that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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