How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When are your genitals available?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
