She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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