this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I did not marry a roomba.
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