Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
