I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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