i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
