11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
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We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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