butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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