Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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