you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
