How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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