remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
