there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
