he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
