Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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