My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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