so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize