I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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