i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
