if i can run in heels then i can drive
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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