You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
