he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
