My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
