that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
