i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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