Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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