Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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