please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
