sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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