I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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