Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize