I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
