It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
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she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
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The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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