I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
