the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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