Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
