Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
