just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
nutella sex= disaster
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
