my mouth tastes like poor choices
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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