Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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