I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
