Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
