she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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