Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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