Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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