i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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