The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
