I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
