dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
