brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
bring money and cleavage
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
