He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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