Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
