I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Randomize
